I Do More Yoga Than Yoga Than Yoga

Published on September 26, 2011 by Brie Doyle Print

Good morning, Dear Friend,
Have you heard what I did? 
I woke up at four, jumped right out of bed! 
What’s that you say; you couldn’t get up?
 Lord Shiva and Shakti, you must feel like a schmuck!

You see, I do more yoga than you.

Today I feel great,
Three classes before eight! What about you? This past month just a few? 
How sorry, how sad. Bet you wish what I had.

It’s just, I do more yoga than you.

Lululemon and Prana, 
I’m the fucking Pre-Madonna.
 My abs sure do look great, I can’t choose who to date.
 It’s so tough being me…
And I do more yoga than you.

Paxil, Prozac and Zoloft,
 I accidentally took four days off.
 My shrink says distance from yoga, for me, may be healthy,
 But how else will I learn to be spiritually wealthy?

See, I do more yoga than you (and him, combined).

I’m off centered, out of balance, and all out of whack,
 For the past twenty years I’ve used yoga as crack.
 In missing a class, I’ve fallen behind,
 To my inner-most goddess, I’m becoming so blind.
 At least I still do more yoga than you.

What’s that you say? You made it to a class?
 Excuse me for sounding incredibly crass:
 You phony, you fake, you raving-terrible bitch!
 The only reason you went was to be like me just a titch.
 I do more yoga than you. 
Oops, forgive me, my gosh! What’s gotten into me?
 What I meant was I’m so happy! I hope it sets you free! 
But please let me make myself incredibly clear: I do more yoga than you do, My Dear.

Visit http://recoveringyogi.com/i-do-more-yoga-than-you/